Broken
by allycat22
Summary: Emma confronts Hook after he left the hospital about the situation with Rumpelstiltskin (set a few days after the next episode)


Broken

Hook is lying on the floor of his ship holding a bottle of rum when Emma walks aboard the Jolly Roger, "Go away."

His voice is dull and flat and the opposite of what she's used to. Though Emma supposes that should be expected given what he went through the past couple of days.

"You should be grateful I'm here and found you first. Everyone else has a price on your head or wants you handcuffed and put in jail," she responds lightly. When he gives no sign of rebuttal except to take a large gulp of his rum she begins to walk around the Roger.

"It really is an impressive boat."

"Ship."

"What?" she turns to him, confusion evident in her expression.

"She's not a boat, she's a ship," his eyes met her own briefly. "But many thanks."

Emma rolled her eyes and walked back to where Hook is, taking a seat next to him. "Are you going to offer any explanation at all?"

"I hadn't really intended to, no," another drink from the glass bottle.

Sighing heavily and leaning back onto her hands Emma contemplates her next words very carefully. "I'm not going to tell you vengeance isn't the answer," she can hear him shift but doesn't look down at him, "I get it. He hurt you. He took her from you and everything she meant."

Hook shifts again, her analysis is hitting a little too close to home.

"I don't think what you did was right, but I get it. So I'm not arresting you," this time she does look down at him. "Not today, anyways."

Hook still won't meet her eyes, "So you're, _eventually_, going to arrest me but you're going to let that thing run free about town? That sounds like justice."

"If I arrest you, I'm arresting him as well," she answered tightly. "I know not all your injuries came from the car crash."

Killian sat up, looking out towards the water. His eyes finally made their way to Emma's face, "Ah yes. Our little altercation."

"Little doesn't seem like the right word." She studied his expression, "You let him come after you. Planned it so that he would have to come find you. Everything was set up so that you could face off with him."

Hook's expression didn't change, he remained stoic and, apparently, unaffected by her deductions. "But you didn't fight back. You let him hurt you."

This time Hook's expression flashed with something she didn't have time to read before he turned away. He didn't deny what she said; he couldn't because she would know he was lying. Killian just couldn't bear to see the pity on her face.

When he didn't respond Emma started to lose her patience. She was trying to figure what to do with him because something was obviously wrong. She had underestimated just how hurt he was but him ignoring her and ignoring everything wouldn't fix anything. She knew from experience.

"So, do you feel better now? Do you feel accomplished?" the words came out harsher than she expected but she refused to take them back.

Hook's expression was stony when he turned back to face her. "I feel nothing. I've felt nothing for over 300 years and this doesn't change that." He let out a harsh breath, "She's been avenged so my task is complete. So if you don't mind I'd like to sit and drink my rum in peace."

"Hook," Emma paused, briefly contemplating just leaving as he'd asked her to, "You don't feel nothing. You feel so much it's crushed you."

She got up to leave, unsure of why she had stayed so long in the first place, she had only come to tell him he was in the clear for now. _You stayed because he reminds you of you. His brokenness is the same as yours was. His hurt has torn away a chunk of him just like yours did._

Right as she was about to walk down the gangway his hand grasped her arm tightly and spun her around. His eyes were dark and angry, his mouth in a vicious sneer. This was Captain Hook, not Killian Jones.

"What makes you think you know what I'm feeling? What gives you the right to tell me what's going through my head?" The grip on her arm tightened painfully and she winced.

"That thing took the only person who ever cared about me! That bastard ripped her away from me, from the world! So I did the same to him. I don't feel anything because there is nothing left to feel."

Hook was still holding her arm painfully and was in such close proximity Emma could see the smudges of his eyeliner. "There's always something left to feel. The pain is always there."

"SHUT UP!" He shoved her slightly, causing her to stumble into the side of the ship. "SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS! YOU DON'T KNOW A DAMN THING ABOUT MILAH OR ME! KEEP YOUR BLOODY OPINIONS TO YOURSELF!"

His breathing was ragged. "I've got a rotten heart. It's too far gone to feel."

"You hurt so bad it blinds you," Emma began. She was going to tell him what she wished someone had told her ten years ago. "Your pain has become so intrinsic that you don't know how to separate yourself from it. There is no end in your sight so you've given up. You've stopped fighting. You don't think you have anything to live for."

"Swan, I said shut up!"

"No!" Emma surged forward knocking him back. "You're not the only one who's been left! You're not the only person to feel pain! To feel like their heart will never heal and that feeling nothing is the answer! Pain is universal, it doesn't matter what world you're from."

"She was taken from me!" His expression broke, "I've got no one. Some revenge has been taken on the crocodile but what now? There's nothing left for me! I'm in this new world with no way of going back and I have no one here with me." He appeared to hold back a sob, "I have nothing."

Killian fell to knees and slammed his hook into the wooden floor, yelling in agony as he repeated the motion over and over again.

Emma moved to his side, sitting next to him again and put her hand on him arm. "Hook," he refused to acknowledge but continued to destroy the floor. "Killian," this time he paused, breathing raggedly.

Emma struggled, grasping for the right words, "You don't have no one. You're not alone."

When he finally looked up at her she was offering a small smile. Emma held her hand out, much like he had on the beanstalk.

Killian looked at her hand warily, "And why should I believe you?"

"Because I was you a long time ago. I get it. You don't need to be fixed or saved so I'm not going to try and do that. I'm just going to be here. I'm going to stay because no one did for me and that sucks." Emma looked away; she hadn't meant to let the last part slip.

"So, are you accepting this or not," she gestured to her hand.

Hook put his own hand in hers; offering a tiny smile, "I suppose so."

He put his hand in Emma's and for the first time in nearly 300 years he felt hope.


End file.
